Stuff about the website, life, and other shenanigans.

September 14, 2019

Whoever says that first year university is the hardest year has got to be joking or something, because I've been utterly bamboozled. I speculated that the difficulty in second year is going to be even more ridiculous after I had to take some second and third year courses in first year, and let me tell you that I was right.

Second year is basically first year, except you have absolutely no idea what's going on. I still think that first year's difficulty was entirely due to it being a transition year. New study habits have to be formed, time management skills have to be cultivated, but other than that the subjects were relatively tame compared to second year. Usually the first few lectures are pretty easy, but this time around we reached the second lecture and everyone is already lost. I think the greatest record so far was last year in Calculus II when everyone was flabbergasted in the first lecture because the professor taught as if we were retaking the class before. It was great.

It's only been a week after classes started and I'm already behind, which is fantastic. Not to mention that I still haven't applied for any jobs for my internship next semester. To be honest, I needed this sort of challenge after such a boring first year experience, but then again I don't think anything would have prepared me for this.

Third year is probably going to be harder due to the astronomical amount of labs that I have to do. Sounds like a great time.

Also, I want to add that our school is perpetually under construction. It has gotten to the point where people are joking about how the construction workers have become the school's mascot. First year students ended up blocking one portion of the building and it literally causes everyone to be late. I thought last year was bad, but it's just getting worse.

Anyways, just wanted to update because I'm already getting swamped by my workload and it's likely that I won't be able to update very often, or at least not have the motivation to update at all. The website will be put on the backburner, but that is to be expected anyway. Luckily I write something practically every day, it is just a matter of me doing a couple of edits so that I can deem it to be postable.

September 9, 2019

Software Design class was the biggest slog known to man. Professor kept on talking without any break for two hours. I thought I was going to lose it.

We also went to the Night Market yesterday. It was alright.

I don't know, I am not the type of guy who would go to that kind of place. It's just a bit too noisy both to the eyes and to the ears. Music blasting everywhere, the crowds, the lights, it is a bit too overstimulating for me. At least the food was pretty good.

It also becomes a fight for one's attention, because there are people everywhere who are trying to sell whatever it is that they're trying to sell. I find it really hard to ignore them, but sometimes it is necessary because the moment they think they got your attention, they're going to go for it. It does give me this sort of melancholic feeling seeing deserted stands and I see the owner just sit there dead-eyed. I get this feeling a lot with empty stores, and it makes me depressed. Not too sure why. It's not like the knowledge that this person isn't getting any customers that's depressing, but the atmosphere that such a place exhibits that makes me somewhat gloomy. It's bizarre.

Regardless of all of that, it wasn't really special, to be honest. I've been to places that had a similar atmosphere, so it wasn't particularly a novel experience. That being said, it's really not for me. I would have preferred it if I stayed home, but at least I can say that I've been out and about so people don't have to pester me about going to a place that I really have no desire to visit.

I haven't been sleeping well for the past week. And it's less about my studies and more of my lack of discipline. 12AM to 5AM has been the routine, and while I can still stay awake during the morning commute I have to take a nap at the library in-between classes or else I won't stay awake. Probably should get that sorted out.

September 7, 2019 - First week of Uni (bleh)

This was probably the laziest first week of university that I've had so far. I haven't studied garbage.

I am pretty excited with my course load this time. Here are the courses I'm taking:

The previous three semesters were just so bloody boring. It was all basic classes since it was first year, so it was a bunch of math, physics, and chemistry courses. In fact, it was so boring that I practically skipped every lecture for all of my classes and still maintained a good GPA, but I highly recommend that you don't do that. I think my problem was that the teachers last year just couldn't distill and teach the concepts properly for the life of them, so I ended up learning the concepts on my own. Also, they usually don't check lecture attendance in first year anyway, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My second year teachers are a lot better, or I think they are. It's only been the first week; usually when first midterms roll around I'll probably be loathing my university experience all over again.

At least this time we get to do actual engineering stuff and solve engineering-related problems, instead of having to solve fifty integrals and differential equations for homework. Still a lot of theory involved, but it is finally related to my major for once, my goodness.

September 2, 2019 - ANOTHER REDESIGN UPDATE???

What in the world guy, another redesign? What's wrong with me?

Yep, you heard me right, after doing a redesign a day earlier, I decided to do another one. Took only three hours to do all of the images along with the layout which was pretty fast. This time it looks entirely different. A whole new theme and everything. So what happened?

Well, I never saw my past designs as strictly "personal". I was basing them off of the website's name, soysauce. Problem was that it was meant to be an inside joke with my name and the brand Kikkoman, but after that died down I didn't really know what to do with it. So I decided to just disregard it entirely and created a website whose design is entirely personal and unrelated to the website name. Now I guess I'm stuck with a really weird URL name, but that's fine with me. I rather have a design which I don't have a ridiculous urge to change every day.

For this particular redesign, I guess I am very much content with how it turned out, and I think it's safe to say that I won't be doing a major redesign in the near future. Well, if I wanted to I really can't, because university just started up again and I have to do some job hunting amidst all of my class work. Absolutely horrific.

September 1, 2019 - REDESIGN UPDATE

Went camping for three days. Ate a lot of food. My back hurts from sleeping on ground that is 900x more rigid than my bed.

I said in my last blog entry that I'll leave the website as it was, but I just couldn't do it. I had to make changes, because I was not satisfied with how it looked, so I designed the whole thing over again. Albeit it is a lot simpler, and it took me only around 2 hours which was alright.

Why did I do a redesign? I just found the old design to be too cluttered and messy. I had fun with the backgrounds and the webpage images and stuff, but as I soon found out my brain was going absolutely wild. I simply couldn't handle how messy it was. I can tolerate disorder to a certain extent, but there comes a point where I have to take action or else I go insane.

I love looking at those Neocities and Geocities websites where people have wacky backgrounds and slap random gifs all over the place and everything is simply a mess. However, I don't think I could personally bring myself to design something like that if I'll be seeing it on a daily basis. If I was doing a mock-up website? I could probably do it, but if I was maintaining a website long-term I wouldn't be able to stand looking at it after a while. I found that a more simpler design aesthetic would be more fitting for me than those which are often deemed as "old web" aesthetics. This redesign is more of a nod towards Web 1.0 and brutalist web design more than anything (not to be confused with anti-design. See this article for some background.)

Some people may have liked the old design better, and I'm very sorry if that is the case. But I was simply losing my mind just looking at it for too long. And plus, I was focusing more on how the website looked rather than the actual content, which parallels that of an artist obsessing more about the frame housing the painting rather than the painting itself. I guess a lot of people like looking at cool web designs and not much at actual content which is fine by me. However, I think I rather create something that has people coming back rather than something which people will see once and dismiss entirely.

Also, the old design was just a bit too high maintenance. So many images flying everywhere, too many CSS IDs and classes were just bogging down everything for no real reason other than to create self-inflicted clutter. My website was only ~2.5 MB before the redesign, but considering how little useful content I really had on there, it was quite the waste of both storage and bandwidth.

I learned a lesson regarding sticking with one's own personal design principles. It is very much a good thing to experiment and to try out new things, and that is exactly what I did: I experimented with a design that was outside my comfort zone. And after such experiences you learn something about yourself, and know how to conduct yourself in future endeavours.

August 29, 2019

I have this incessant desire just to redo the entire website design all over again. It's been getting annoying. I think it's fine the way that it is now, but I want to have different designs just to stretch my web design muscles a little bit.

My perfectionistic tendencies end up mindblocking me from making actual content and instead makes me want to make neverending design changes to the site; something which need not be done at all. I felt like I finished something for once, but then I have the urge to redo it all.

This same thing happened to my personal website. I think I did like 6 complete redesigns in the span of two weeks before I finally settled, and even then I have an urge to redesign it all over again. It is a cycle that just never ends.

I probably need to take a break from the web design aspect and go read the trillions of books in my backlog or something. I started this web design binge during finals week, which was probably not the best of ideas, so I'm quite tired.

Speaking of which, I decided to tear down my blog in my personal website (the one attached to my real name) because I figured that it was going to be another burden to add onto my schoolwork. I want to get back on track with other hobbies other than writing, and since the blog was killing my inner drive to write I decided to call it quits.

I'll still write for this website, but the other blog along with my perfectionist attitude is not going to end well, especially when each article is around 1000-2000 words. I might go insane if I plan on writing for two blogs alongside my engineering program. That's simply too much.

August 24, 2019

I've been seeing back-to-school advertisements much to my chagrin, but I've been seeing them while I was still in school. Can't cry about going back to school if you're already in school in the first place :thinking:

And why was I in school during the summer, you may ask? Summer semester is mandatory in my engineering program over at my university, so I basically have built-in summer school which is absolutely horrific. I mean, it was either take an extra semester or take 6 classes for two semesters which would literally kill me, so I opted out for the trimester option. I wouldn't say that I regret it, but my summer semester was terrible.

I just finished finals literally last week and now I only have one more week before my next semester starts. Just who in the world decided to do this tri-semester garbage deal man? It's terrible. All I recall doing the past week was building my personal website and creating, and now I am back to school. Great.

I'll probably be going into overdrive and do a lot of design work and more website nonsense, and I want to do a lot of writing for my personal website and this website as well. The more responsible decision would be to start studying ahead for next semester's classes, but then I'd probably go mad. Don't want to be doing that.

August 23, 2019

I couldn't sleep.

Yesterday, I had the idea of making this website as a means of expressing my true self online. Websites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter don't appeal to me one bit, and it stifles my creativity, so I opted out to make a neocities website instead. Problem was, it was 1am and suddenly this great idea popped into my head and I needed to go sleep. Suffice to say, I could not sleep for the life of me.

I wanted to wake up early so I could start as soon as possible so I only got 5 hours of sleep. After 5 hours of work, I finally finished this website. Hooray! I mean, it isn't much, but that is what I like about it: very simple, yet aesthetically pleasing.

Interestingly enough, I only started to apply HTML and CSS yesterday by creating a different neocities website. I had learned all the syntax and everything about these two mark-up languages, but I never made anything with it. You know, it is entirely useless to learn a coding language if you never make anything with it. That is why I advocate hands-on work instead of class-style learning, because in short: not working with your tools will not make you any more better at using them.

Anyway, I think I'll leave it here for this one. Mainly have this here so that the Writings page isn't empty, but I'll be sure to add more stuff soon. I have a ton of writing just sitting in an Evernote notebook and it is gathering dust, so I might as well have someone read it and glean something from it, whatever that may be.